Some of you have asked what our daily and weekly routine looks like.  So, I thought I’d share a typical week with you.

Sundays we usually attend church at Oikos Church of the Nazarene.  The services are entirely in Thai.  It takes us about 35-40 minutes to drive to church.  The rest of Sunday is our rest time.  This past Sunday, though, we sang and spoke at Bangkok First Church of the Nazarene.

A typical weekday looks like this:

5:30-5:45 a.m. — Wake up (this is just for Jeni.  The guys get up literally 35 minutes before we need to leave the house and I just can’t do that)

6:15 a.m. — a quick breakfast and then we are out the door by 6:35 a.m.  Why?  Caleb has to be at school by 7:15 and even though we live relatively close to the school, we have to battle morning traffic.  If we leave at 6:35, we usually have him at the school by 7:00 or 7:05, but if we leave just five minutes later, he’ll be late for school.  It’s crazy!

After that we head to the Mega Mall where we will park our car for the day and catch a bus.   Last year, Kevin and I both got on a bus at this time and rode it (for 20-30 minutes) to the BTS station.  We would ride the BTS (or sky train) for about 25 minutes.  Kevin would get off and walk a block and a half to his language school and I would switch to the MRT (or subway) and ride another 15 minutes to my language school.  If you are adding it up, that’s quite a bit of travel time! It takes Kevin about 50-60 minutes to get to school.  It took me a minimun of an hour and fifteen minutes (that’s each way).  I only did this Monday, Wednesday and Friday because on Tuesdays and Thursdays I tutor my friend and landlady in English (but more on that later).  So this year, I am going to drop Kevin off and then head in and take classes in the afternoon.  Travelling at non-peak times cuts about 30 minutes off my travel time.  I also am going to go back to the school that Kevin attends, so it will be a little closer.

Why not just go at the same time he does?  Well, we try to use the travel time, particularly on the bus to do Bible reading.  This works great for Kevin. Noise and bustle around him somehow help him focus.  Anyone who knows the two of us knows that we are obviously not cut from the same cloth (just really great coordinating fabrics), in fact in someways, this being one of them, we are opposites.  I just get too distracted to make that work for me.  I’m also a morning person and it just makes me grumpy to give the best of my day to travel.  So, I’m staying home and trying afternoons.

Anyway… at 7:15 or so, I (Kevin) get on the non-air conditioned, bus with wooden floors, that only costs 6.5 THB (20 cents) because the free air-conditioned bus that Jeni rides doesn’t run until 9 am! It takes me about and hour to make the trip from bus to BTS to downtown.  Most days I’ll grab some mu-ping and sticky rice on the street, because what better breakfast is there?!  I head back to the Mega after class.  When Jeni goes to school in the afternoon she drops the car at the Mega and gets on the bus.  We usually cross paths somewhere along the BTS line as I head home and she to school.  Not that we get to actually see each other, but it is fun to track her phone and “blow” her text kisses as we pass each other!  I pick up the car at the Mega and get home around 1 p.m.  Then it’s  work on my computer, phone calls, running errands or meeting with people until 2:30 p.m. when I picks Caleb up from school.  After a game or two of Yahtzee and a snack, Caleb heads upstairs to do his homework and I get some more work done.  Work consists of accounting stuff as the assistant/back up treasurer for the field, helping with field communication, making plans and arrangements for incoming Work & Witness teams, and helping with a variety of projects.  In the past couple of weeks it has been helping with travel arrangements for incoming volunteer teachers, meeting with a team to help store and transport some Jesus film equipment in to some creative access areas, overseeing a remodel project for Southeast Asia Nazarene Bible College and the Southeast Asia Field Offices, preparing to teach a Church History class for SEANBC, and last but not least, doing my Thai homework.  My coolest moment came when Jeni asked me if some of the stuff I was helping with and planning for was actually legal… which it is not in the areas I am headed to… and for a moment (a very short moment) I felt like a spy or something!  But then reality set in and I realized that the whole issue of legality never really occurred to me because being “undercover” isn’t really as cool as it looks in the movies… it’s just like regular life, except you can’t post it on Facebook!

(back the morning and back to Jeni) After dropping Kevin off for language school in the morning,  I come back home.  I spend time with Jesus and then begin working.  I write lesson plans for the various places where I/we are teaching English, on different days I actually tutor or teach English class during this time as well.  I also answer emails, write blog entries, clean the house, prep for dinner, review my Thai lessons and finish my homework at this time.  I leave the house for language school at about 11:40 and get home just before 5 p.m.

In the evenings…

Wednesday and Saturday evenings we teach English at a business and a church respectively.  Thursday evenings I attend a Bible study that is mostly in Thai (the only English is for my benefit).

On the other evenings we do family stuff.  We try to get out and about and use our Thai.  We often eat at restaurants on our street (eating at these places is really cheap) and gives us a chance to practice our Thai language skills and get to know people.  Kevin loves to try new places and new dishes.  Caleb and I usually order what we know we will like. (Kevin adds, “In other words, the same thing every time. But to Jeni’s credit she does think about it for a few minutes before ordering the same thing, while Caleb just orders Chicken Fried Rice without even a thought to what other delicious dishes they might have.”)

We also try to meet for team prayer at least every other week, usually in the mornings.  During these times we meet with others on our team who live in Bangkok.

While all of this will change when Work & Witness teams start coming in May, that is a regular week for now.

If you think this was hard to follow… we agree with you and welcome to our life!  Somedays it seems like we are doing a lot and sometimes it seems like we are doing very little.  It can be hard, while we are still learning the language and the way things work here, to feel like we know what our purpose is in being here.  We are just trusting that God will continue to reveal ways in which we can share His love and salvation and use us to further His kingdom.

If you have any questions about what we do here, or how God is working in the churches of SE Asia, please don’t hesitate to ask!  We’d love to answer your questions!

(Kevin wants to use his new Thai keyboard overlay to type goodbye now… even though it takes three times as long to find the letters and type it out as it does just to type it into Google translate and paste it into this blog!)

สวัสดีครับ

Happy New year!  It’s a brand new year.  Everywhere people are making resolutions, setting goals, determining that this year is going to be different, better. I can’t help feeling that there are just as many people out there asking the question, “But what if it isn’t?”  What if different isn’t always better, but just different?  What if different would be nice, but it seems like we are stuck with the same?  What if a change in the calendar really can’t change the hand we’ve been dealt?  What if different ends up being worse?  There is often a tug-of-war in our hearts and minds.  We are creatures of hope; we hope for a better tomorrow, a better future, better lives, better, stronger families, a better us… we know it’s what we were created for and yet… we have fears, doubts, weaknesses, and circumstances that seem to contrive to kill our hope and steal our joy.

I have to confess that as I (we) walk into this new year, there are days when hope and optimism are an act of will. They do not come naturally as they used to.  This is not the life I know.  It’s different and not an exciting kind of different, but a frustrating puzzle, hard work kind of different.  Learning a new language and trying to communicate with people who think differently than you do is hard.  Being away from friends and daily and seasonal rhythms is hard.  Trying to find my place, my calling within this calling—what I’m “here for” is frustrating at times.  The feeling of doing something worthwhile or productive is elusive.  There are days that I wish I could wake up in the world I know and find that it’s all been some strange, exciting dream.  I would find myself in a place where I know the rules, where I know how to do life, how to be a blessing, how to serve, how to learn.  I would be in a place and time where I don’t have to send my kids back across the ocean after Christmas, where my friends were just a 10 minute drive away, where my future could be what I always thought that it would.  Sometimes the grief of what I left behind and what I thought would be makes my heart feel like it might crack into a hundred tiny pieces and split open.  On those days, I’m two people: one who wants to go back and one who knows that she can’t go back and follow Jesus at the same time.  I followed that thought—waking up to find it wasn’t real—for a minute and there’s only one problem with it.  I don’t fit there anymore.  I can’t really go back.  You see, while what has been will always be a part of who I am, I now have more.  I have new experiences and new people.  There are people here who I’d really be sad if I’d never met, I’m learning things here that I couldn’t learn in comfort and familiar routine.

While pondering this, my thoughts wandered to the passage in Scripture about new wine  and the wineskins we put it in.  God is doing a new thing in my life and in yours.  He is bringing people and circumstances, places and experiences that shape us, grow us and change us.  Our hearts, minds and horizons expand as we walk with Him in the new places.  As we walk through the new, or through old circumstances that need new eyes, a new perspective, as we do this with Jesus we become more and the old way of doing things, the old life, the old attitudes, the old speech and patterns just don’t really fit.  In fact, they hurt, like squeezing your feet into shoes that are too small.

When I read that we need new wineskins for new wine, I think that’s what it means.  A new life for the new life He’s creating in us.  I’ve been told that new wine expands and breathes as it ages, that when put into old wineskins, crusty, dried out, used old forms, they will crack and split open.  The new wine will be wasted.  But in new supple wineskins the wine can breathe and expand and do it’s thing.  It can age and become better because the newer skins will move with it.

If we think of Jesus work in us as the new wine and the wineskins as the way we do life, this makes a lot of sense.  When we first come to Christ, our old way of doing life just doesn’t fit anymore.  In fact, when we insist on just pouring some Jesus into our old way of life, we find that it all falls apart.  But even as we grow in Christ after having turned from old, sinful ways, we find that God continually asks us to change our form.  This new life He pours Himself into for us isn’t rigid and fixed.  It’s meant to be flexible, to allow us to expand and breathe.   We have to choose whether to live in the new wineskins or to allow them to become just as old and crusty as the skins we abandoned when we first fell in love with Jesus.

This requires new ways of looking at the world and our circumstances, a new speech pattern, new depths of forgivness, new levels of letting go and trusting God.  In Jesus day, it meant looking at the law and it’s requirements in a new way, it meant worshipping differently, hoping for a slightly different future that the one they thought God had promised them.  But it turned out that different was definitely better and those who moved past their disappointment moved into a new, brighter hope and a new, more perfect dream.  That’s what I want for my new year, to live fully in my new supple wineskins, to walk forward into a new hope.

As we write this, we are in the middle of Advent.  Advent is a time of anticipation, a time when we remember the long wait before the birth of our Savior.  Historically, this was a long period of silence before the song of an angel choir, a long, dark night before the Light of the World was born, and a lonely time of separation from God until He became one of us and made His home here with us. 

In our missionary journey we have also experienced a time of waiting; we are still in an advent of sorts.  We waited to come to Thailand, we have waited in silence (and are still waiting expectantly) to be able to communicate well in Thai.  We watch and wait as cultural understanding dawns.  We wait as strangers to be taken into newly budding friendships and and we wait for this new place to seem more like home. We are also waiting for the final member of our familty to arrive in Thailand for Christmas so we will all be under one roof—what a blessing!  (Update… Lydia has arrived!)

Our Advent has been both exciting and frustrating, full of hopeful possibility and exausting despondancy.  It has been a time of learning and listening, watching and waiting.  During our waiting times it has always been essential to remind ourselves of God’s truth.  We find this truth in His word.  He tells us that He will never leave us or forsake us, that we are His children, that we are called according His puropse, that He will provide for all of our needs, and that when we commit our way and our plans to Him, we will succeed.  God’s word assures us that diligence and hard work result in fruit or harvest, that He will make our paths straight and our way sure, that the Kingdom is His and He is building it, that He is already victorious over the enemy, that He wants to see us succeed in what He has called us to do, and that He will do immeasurably more than all that we can ever ask or imagine.  

Regardless of what our current circumstances seem or how we feel, God’s truth is our reality.  Jesus is that truth and He is our reality.  In this season I am reminded that He came to dwell with us.  When we couldn’t get to God, God came down.  When all we could see was darkness, the Light of the World entered into that darkness and defeated it.  When the reality we long for seemed so far away, Jesus brought the Kingdom to us.

Amazingly, just as hope, heaven, and home came down to us, God is little by little creating home here in Thailand for us.  He is revealing Himself and His kingdom to us, right here. We are beginning to see and understand how He is working here and how we might fit in to this piece of Kingdom work.  

We are amazed and so grateful that Jesus continues to come over and over again into our darkness and confusion, into our hopes and dreams, into our fears and frustrations, into the life that we’ve surrendered to Him.

I pray, this Advent season that as you remember the coming of Christ, you also take note of how Jesus comes into your every day, fulfilling your longings and redeeming each experience for His glory.  I pray that you will fully celebrate, with eyes wide with wonder, the Word made flesh, full of Grace and Truth and that your awareness of the presence of Christ will fill your heart with love, your soul with joy, and your mind with peace.

Merry Christmas!

When I started this blog, it was for the purpose of sharing our journey with you.  I wanted a way to connect with all of you, to let you know what we were experiencing, how we are adjusting and how we are seeing God at work.  We knew that some days and weeks would be great and some would be hard, frustrating and challenging.  So the fact that we have days of frustration has come as no surprise to us, but where that frustration comes from has.

Today is Sunday and we just got home from church.  Church has been a real pickle for us.  We certainly didn’t expect it.  We love church, we love the body of Christ and worshipping with brothers and sisters.  We need that in our lives.  However, it’s that very need that has been a struggle.  Right off the bat, I need to say that our Nazarene congregations here in the Bangkok area are great.  The people love Jesus and have been so welcoming to us.  So, why the struggle?  Well… that, I think, goes back to our journey.  In the U.S. Kevin was a pastor.  He prepared and preached a sermon every week; I lead or participated in a Bible study nearly every week; we attended small group on a regular basis. Kevin taught Bible quizzing.  Most weeks we participated in leading worship and when we didn’t, we worshipped from the congregation, our voices joining in praise and adoration with our church family.  We didn’t just attend church or even work at a church, Church was our life.  The Body of Christ was central to the rhythm of our days and weeks.  It was never perfect, but it was “home” and it was beautiful.

Here, we have naturally been strongly encouraged to attend one of our Nazarene churches here in Bangkok.  This is as it should be. These are the people we have come to encourage and work alongside to grow the Kingdom in Thailand.  They are lovely Spirit-filled churches and naturally, the services are in Thai (or in one case Burmese) and the people speak Thai.  Some Sundays, this makes going to church hard work.  Moving to a new place, making new friends, and having a new job or assignment is hard enough as it is, but trying to do it in another language is like Ariel trying to woo prince Eric without her tongue.  It feels almost impossible some days.  Today was one of those days.  Choosing where to go to church seemed like a choice between broccoli or asparagus for dessert—both good for you, but not dessert.  We considered staying home and having our own service, but that’s not really Church.  We believe strongly in the importance of gathering with fellow believers (Hebrews 10:25).  So, I sort of pouted, I hemmed and hawed, and drug my feet and felt sorry for myself as we went to church.

When we got to church, almost every song was familiar to me (an English song that has been translated).  This is highly unusual.  I felt like God had seen me and knew exactly what I needed, but that was just the beginning.  You see, God is a really good Father.  He doesn’t just placate us by making us feel better, He also deals with our attitudes.

The sermon was on Psalm 100.  I have to stop right here and tell you that I really have no idea if what I am going to share is anything close to what was preached.  I don’t understand enough Thai to really know.  All I know is what I got out of what I did understand, what the Holy Spirit spoke to my heart.

Well we’ve now been here for about five months and I thought I would give some quick highlights of what we’ve been up to and let you know what we have coming up, how we are doing and how you can pray for us!

If you’ve been following our blog and receiving our newsletter, then you know that since we left the U.S. in May, we moved to Bangkok, Thailand, found and rented a townhouse, enrolled Caleb in International Community School for his junior year of high school, enrolled in Thai language school, worked with a Work & Witness team from Olivet in Chiang Mai and Maetang, took a trip to Laos to renew our visas, took Noah back to the U.S. to Olivet Nazarene University.  If you are following us, you know that have been attending Thai speaking churches and getting to know our wonderful Thai brothers and sisters.

What’s new? Since our last blog post, I (Jeni) have joined a Thai Bible study, I’ve been tutoring a new friend in English.  Kevin and I are now teaching English on Saturday nights at the Bangchalong Church (a Burmese speaking congregation) and helping with the music portion of Caleb’s high school musical (which happenes to be “High School Musical”).   Kevin has preached twice in different churches the past two Sundays.  Caleb ran in his first meet for cross country and took 3rd place for his time in the 5K.

What’s coming up? How can you pray?  Well… we are are still studying Thai every day.  We are trying to use it as much as we can and to interact with our community.  Please pray that the vocabulary and grammar stick in our brains and come more quickly to our minds when we need them.  We know that learning this language is going to take a while, but we also know that with God’s help we can learn it quickly and well.  Pray that while we are learning the language and the culture that we will not accidentally offend anyone or make any cultural mistakes that do anything more than make us look silly.  We don’t mind looking bad, but we do not want to damage any relationships.  We want to build strong ones!

Please pray that God gives us the words to say that will communicate His love and the hope of Jesus as we learn to communicate.

Also pray that we build strong relationships, that our eyes are open to the opportunities around us to make friends and share love and life.  Pray that we never become so preoccupied with our responsibilities and daily life that we fail to see what God is doing around us.

Please pray that we are wise in our choice of activities. That we say yes to and put our time and energy into the activities that are in God’s will for us.

Please pray for us as we plan and teach English that God will direct us in the lessons we plan, that we will use the gifts and talents God has given us to lead others to Him and to help those who do know Jesus to grow in Him, in Christ-likeness, and in service.

Please pray for our upcoming trip to Cambodia.  October is the time for our second visa run and we are excited to go and spend some time with team members there and meet some more of our Southeast Asia family.

Please pray for Kevin as he prepares for upcoming Work & Witness trips.  Please pray for those who will be joining us here in Southeast Asia.

Please pray for our kids, for a great balanace of school, work, friends, rest, etc.  Please pray that they grow closer and closer to Jesus every day. Please pray for their mental, spiritual, emotional, and physical protection.

Please pray for wisdom, strength, diligence, energy and health.  Pray that we, His bride,  will continually be in love with Jesus and live like it.

One more thing… we want to pray for you.  Please leave a comment with how we can pray for you as you live out the love of Jesus where you are.

At at the beginning of August we had to leave the country for our first visa run.  So we did a little sight-seeing, got our visas stamped, taught English for two weeks to a pretty amazing group of people, and experienced a little more of the SE Asia culture.  While we were away we also found a church to attend, because that’s what we do on Sundays.  Anyway, I wanted to share something that the church we attended for two weeks does that is really different from any church we’ve ever been to.  In fact, it’s so different that it had us raising our eyebrows at each other during the service and all thinking, “This would NEVER happen in the States.”

Now that I have your attention and your curiosity is properly piqued, here goes…

They welcomed unbelievers in the service.

“That’s it?”  you say. “We all welcome unbelievers, we want them in our churches!  That’s the point of ‘invite a friend to church Sunday’!  What’s so shocking about that?”  Let me go back to my original statement:  They welcomed unbelievers in the service.   By in the service, I mean as a part of the worship service, out loud, from the platform.

I’m sure many of you who are reading this have been to a church (usually a smaller one) where they ask visitors to stand, sometimes introduce themselves or ask a regular attender to introduce visiting friends and family.  Well, this church, which is not small by the way, does that.  First they ask if there are any foreign visitors (they actually have seating just for foreigners so they can help with translation and such) asking them to stand and then they ask other visitors to stand and be recognized.  No big deal, right?  But they go on to ask, “Are there any non-Christians visiting us today?”  At this point any non-Christians stand up and are welcomed.  Crazy right?

OR maybe not…

I’m told that they also make a point of connecting with these particular visitors after the service to answer questions they may have and to share the gospel with them if they are open to it.   The practice of pointing out non-Christians struck us as odd because we would never in a million years want to put someone on the spot, or point them out as being different from the majority of people there.  We would never want to make visitors uncomfortable.

And yet….

I think we’ve done it anyway.  By ignoring the fact that there are hundreds of thousands of people who either have no idea what we believe in, don’t know much about Christianity (other than what they see in the media), or completely disagree with what they think we stand for, we have made them very uncomfortable in our gatherings.  By pretending that all the people sitting in the pews or chairs think and believe the same things and live by basically the same values, by failing to acknowledge very different life experiences, different opinions and different beliefs, we have made our “visitors” (when we have them) feel unwelcome and out of place.

In a Buddhist majority country, it really does make sense to acknowledge that there will be people who walk through the door, people who are curious about Christianity, most of the people who are invited to come are not Christians because most of the people in the country are not Christians.   It makes sense to let them know that we are glad they have come and that they are welcome.

In an increasingly secular society full of people who either don’t understand Christianity, have heard vastly conflicing messages concerning Christians and what they do and believe or people who just aren’t sure there really is a God, doesn’t it make sense to acknowledge them?  To validate their reasons for attending? To make room for doubters, scoffers, skeptics, and the curious? Shouldn’t most of the people invited to come to church with us be non-believers (or as I heard one pastor say “pre-believers”)?

And if so, it makes sense to say, “We are glad you are here.  You are in the right place.  Come on in and take a look around, check us out.  Let us tell you what this Jesus life is all about.  We see you and you are welcome.”

I was glad when they said unto me, “Let us go into the house of the LORD.”   –Psalm 122:1

Psalm 66:16 says, “Come and listen, all you who fear God; let me tell you what he has done for me.”  Earlier in the psalm, the writer exhorts us to “Shout with joy to God,” “Sing the Glory of His name,” and “make His praise Glorious.”

Attending Thai worship services is a rich experience.  One of the parts of the service I treasure, that all of congregations have, is testimony time.  I don’t understand the person testifying most of the time, but I love that time is set aside for God’s people to speak about what God is doing in their lives, about His faithfulness and goodness.

On our first visit to each of the churches, one or both of us were expected to get up and give a testimony, to speak about God to His people.  This caught us a little off guard, no one warned us.  But it shouldn’t have.  We have so much to be thankful for that His praise should be continually on our lips.  We are told to always be ready to give an answer for the hope we profess.  Jesus told us to continually abide in Him, a state of being that should afford us plenty to say about the One who is always with us and always interceding on our behalf.

When I was a child, testimony time was a part of church.  I remember Sunday evenings when congregation members would get up and speak about the healing of an illness, comfort through a trial, provision for a need, or the faithfulness and goodness of God.  Some testimonies were the same every week, but the faithful saints still stood up and offered public praise to God.

It makes me sad to think that we’ve lost this aspect of worship in our gatherings.  David speaks over and over about praising God in the assembly. Giving voice to our thankfulness and awe of God in our own words is important.  Why?  Because If I can’t stand up before my brothers and sisters in Christ and give God glory for who He is or what He’s done (and there’s always something to praise Him for), how ready will I be to testify to world?  If I’m hesitant and uncomfortable with those who already love Jesus and know how much they owe to Him, how bold will I be in praising God, in telling about what He means to me or has done for me to those who know nothing of God and may even be “offended” by my testimony?

And how will they know? How will they hear if I am silent? If we are silent?  In John 15:27, Jesus said, “And you also must testify, for you have been with me from the beginning.”  I’ve been with Jesus for a very long time.  I must testify.

So, come and listen to what God means to me.  God is so, so good!  Jesus has saved and redeemed me, forgiven me of every sin and is working His holiness in me every day, molding me into His image.  He speaks to me through His word, teaching me who He is and loving me with every word.  He has faithfully provided for me and for my family at every turn and in every situation, providing homes and schools and resources as we need them. The Holy Spirit guides me and my husband, and has taught us how to be married, how to speak to each other, how to work through conflict, how to give and love. God has parented my children so much better than I ever could have on my own.  The Lord has given me friends, brothers and sisters in Christ who encourage me, who teach me, who love me along the way.  He has placed me in His body, the Church.  He has taught me to love.  He hears my prayers and knows my heart better than I do.  God has brought me to a place that is new and unknown, but He is known and unchanging. I know that I can trust Him to continue to guide, direct, teach, protect and provide.  I know that He is good.  He is faithful. He is sovereign.

So, what about you?  How has God worked in your life?  How is He working today?  What are you trusting Him for right now?

I’ve recently returned from a two week trip to Vientiane City, Laos.  While there we toured the city by day and taught English in the evenings.  It was a great trip and took care of my 90 day visa run.  One of the most fascinating places we visited was Laos Textiles.  From the outside, this looks like a large house and I believe it is.  However, it houses a silk textile business that is out-of-this-world.  The company was started by an American woman and her husband.  We met them both and were given a detailed tour of the operation.  The main floor of the house is a shop where one can buy some of the best woven silk items in Southeast Asia (and I daresay, the world).  The quality is exacting and the work is detailed and beautiful.  The items available in the shop are only a fraction of what they do and are not their main source of revenue.  We were given a tour of the weaving room, the quality control room, got to see the silk being wound into usable fiber, and witnessed some of the newly dyed fibers drying in the sun.  While we were there, three of the ladies were working on a special order for fabric that will decorate the salon of a famous designer in Paris.  The fabric will be one-of-a-kind, a pattern and colors designed specifically for the client that will never be offered to another.  Three weavers was the most they would allow to work on one project because the finished products have to match exactly to be up to their standards.

Other weavers were busy working on other beautiful pieces: wall hangings, scarves, tapestries, and more.  Some were incredibly intricate and detailed and some were beautiful for their simplicity.  The weavers, the women who work there, have been working for this particular company since it’s beginning.  They are highly skilled weavers who learned this craft at their mother’s knees.  We were told that given a printed pattern with dimensions, the weaver could tell you exactly how much silk—how much of each color, would be needed to complete the project before they began.

Before any weaving is done, the silk threads are spun into the weight needed for the project and dyed to the right color.   Then the truly impressive feat; the weaver creates a template.  I’ve included a picture of a template with this post, because otherwise it’s hard to describe.  To me, it looked like a tangled, knotted mess.  Sometimes the mess was quite pretty, sometimes not.  But when the weaver looks at it, she can see the finished cloth.  In the mess she sees the pattern, she sees when she has to thread in a new color or lay another aside.  She sees where a knot or a piece of embrodiery will be worked in.  The weaver can see it all in the template she’s created.

I’ve heard before, as I’m sure you have, that life is like a tapestry.  It never registered quite as profoundly until I watched these women work their magic.  Creating beauty like this is a slow process, they do not finish a piece a day.  Depending on the piece, it can take months or even years.  They complete only 8-15 inches per day.

Sometimes life seems like a tangled mess.  We look at what’s going on in the world, at what’s happening in our own lives and wonder what in the world God is thinking.  We get angry when some of the threads of our lives seem to end or when what seemed like a predictable pattern changes and new and unexpected things happen.  Sometimes we wonder when it will end, or question how in the world beauty will come from what we see.  Sometimes it seems like God is just taking too long to bring about His promises.

Days later we visited another shop and saw the tapestry work of a different people group.  This tapestry was lovely as well, embroidered rather than woven.  But it was created in a very unique way.  The shop owner turned the piece over to show us the back side of the work.  It was knots and odd lines.  She explained that this was embroidered from the back side.  The women working on it saw the “mess”, but knew the beauty being created by it.

Sometimes I think we forget that we are threads and God is the weaver, the Creator of the pattern and of the template.  We are part of what He is creating.  We forget that He sees the end while we are still in the middle.  We forget that He sees the mess, but knows what He is making out of it.  He knows exactly what materials to use and how long it will take to finish and He’s committed to finishing it.

hiI know that this isn’t a perfect anaolgy.  Not everything that happens in this world is God’s doing or His plan; people have free will and people are sinful and do terrible things.  But looking at that tangled template, I’m reminded that God’s Word says, “He who began a good work in you will be faithful to bring it completion” (Philippians 1:6) and “We know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose” (Romans 8:28). Another really cool part of the tour was quality control.  Obviously, as skilled as these weavers are, they do occasionally make mistakes.  But in this company, nothing is wasted.  Each piece, even if it has a flaw,  is used to create something lovely and valuable, something expensive and luxurious.  A framed piece of art, a handbag, a pillow, a journal or barrette… I love that God works that way, too.  Under His skilled hand and in His perfect time, He uses our mistakes and makes beauty out of our mess.

“Something beautiful, something good.  All my confusion, He understood.  All I had to offer Him was brokeness and strife, but He made something beautiful of my life.” –Gloria Gaither

This past Sunday, we attended a short prayer meeting after lunch.  Here in Thailand church always includes lunch and fellowship after church.  During this prayer meeting, time was reserved for telling about what God was doing in our lives and I was particularly impressed by one woman.  I do not remember her name.  She shared that she had recently been in two car accidents, the first was not her fault and the insurance paid to repair or repalce the car.  The second was her fault and the insurance would not pay. She offered thanks to God, not for her safety or for the replacement of the first car, but for the accidents.  Shortly thereafter, she learned that her insurance company would no longer cover her (because of the two accidents) and she would have to pay a much higher rate to be covered.  She gave thanks.  Her eyesight was giving her trouble and she had to go to the hospital and have her corneas scraped (her words).  She gave thanks.  What is interesting about this is that she was not giving thanks for how God was working, for His provision, or for His protection.  She was clearly giving thanks for the trials themselves.  Who does that? and why?

Well, according to Psalm 50, those who wish to prepare the way for God to show His salvation; those who want to see His deliverance.  I was reading Psalm 50 this morning and came upon these two passages:

“Sacrifice thank offerings to God, fulfill your vows to the Most High, and call upon me in the day of trouble; I will deliver you, and you will honor me.” v. 14-15.

“He who sacrifices thank offerings honors me, and he prepares the way so that I may show him the salvation of God.” v. 23

Before I go on, I want to say that I know that there were actual, physical sacrifces offered for thanks that we no longer give.  I get that, but I still think these verses apply to us in a very real way.  Offering thanks (whether as a physical offering or in words with heart gratitude) is rarely a sacrifice when things are going well and the blessings are rolling in.  A sacrifice means giving up something, usually something we see as valuable.  What do we give up when we give thanks for all of our circumstances?  We give up the ability to complain or to feel bad about our situation.  If we are thanking God for the details of our lives, we can hardly turn around and blame anyone for them or have any kind of pity party for ourselves.  This may not seem like a valuable thing to give up, but how often to we wear our stress and the issues and problems we bear as a badge of honor?  Or hold on protectively to our pain and our wounds making them a part of who we are and how we live?

According to the Psalmist, giving thanks for our troubles, our trials, our illnesses and our battles, is a way to honor God.  And, it prepares us to see His salvation.  How does this work?  When we thank God for our trials we are acknowledging that we believe His words when He says that He works everything for the good of those who love Him and are called according to His purpose.  We are saying, “I know you are going to use this for my Good and for your Glory, so thank you for this painful thing and for whatever you choose to do with it.”

Notice that there is a promise of deliverance from trouble.  God does intend to act on our behalf.  The question is whether or not we will honor Him when He does.  You may be thinking, “Of course I will!”  But what if that deliverance doesn’t look like what we expected?  What if we aren’t able to recognize God’s hand in the situation in order to give Him glory? What if we miss it?

The second passage says that our gratitude prepares a way, not for His salvation, that’s not dependant upon us, but it prepares the way for Him to show it to us, for us to see it.  I think our sacrificial gratitude expands and narrows our vision at the same time: narrows it, in that our eyes are focused on God and on what He will do and expands it to see the larger scope of what He’s doing in and through us and our circumstances.

Could it be that when I give thanks for all my circumstances, the fun and wonderful as well as the annoying, worrisome, hard, and painful, I am changed? That I am released from working out the problems, from worrying about them, and I can wait and see what God is going to do with them?  My eyes will be opened to His salvation.  Could it be that through gratitude, I will be able to see how God is saving, shaping, forming, building, moving, restoring, through and even because of pain, loss and trouble?

I don’t want to miss seeing what He’s going to do, so I’ve decided to make a practice of offering sacrifices of thanksgiving.  When nothing in my day is going as I’d hoped, I will give thanks.  When expenses roll in and money is scarce, I will give thanks.  When sickness and death come, I will give thanks.  When conflict and strife come, I will give thanks.  It will not be easy, but I want it to become my practice, my habit, my nature.

“Rejoice always,  pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.”  1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

I thought I’d share a slightly more personal post with you this time.  Many have asked how we are adjusting and while I can say that I think we are adjusting well, it has not been easy.  There are several reasons for this:  1) Food 2) Time 3) Energy 4) Expectations, Growth and Spiritual Warfare.

1. Food— The food here is different.  It’s good, really good, but so different.  As much as we love Thai food, we don’t neccessarily want to eat it at every meal or even every day.  And even if we wanted to, our bodies really can’t handle that much rice nor that much spice. I should qualifiy; by “we” I mean Caleb and I.  Kevin could eat rice for every meal and every snack, every day with no ill effects and Noah is pretty flexible and adventurous in the food department as well.  I should also note that most Thai people do very little cooking.  They often order food to be delivered, pick up food on the street, or eat out.  Why?  Because it’s cheap and I mean seriously cheap.  For example we frequented a street restaurant and each had a meal of rice or noodles and a meat and veggie dish and a bottle of water (Caleb would get Coke) and paid ฿240 baht.  That’s about $7 USD for 4 people.  It is common for us to spend between ฿250 and ฿400 baht ($7-12) at a restaurant to feed the four of us.  Street food from a cart can be even cheaper.  Western style food is available (McDonalds, Burger King, KFC), but much more expensive and it’s our typical fast food or a fusion that doesn’t quite work.  Food is generally pretty spicy here, but you can order it without spice or with a little (you get whatever they think a little is).  So, what’s the problem?  Eating out means being out, and after being out all day that can be exhausting.  Also, as I said before, our bodies just aren’t used to this.  Also, the fact that they eat out so much means that the kitchens are tiny:  tiny two burner electric cooktops, small refrigerators, small counter space, no ovens.  Ingredients available at grocery stores naturally reflect what they eat and cook.  There are aisles upon aisles of prepackaged noodles and convenience foods, huge aisles of more varieites of rice than I knew existed, multiple kinds of boxed milk and juices, oils and seasonings that don’t look even remotely familiar, and fruits and veggies that are foreign to us.   I don’t even know what to do with most of the spices and oils, and the greens are not what I’m used to at all.  I can’t identify many of them.  The meat is different: there is a lot of pork.  We didn’t really eat much pork in the U.S. and there is a significant lack of beef (all imported and all expensive).  Chicken looks about the same and is about the same price, which is such a blessing!  In short,  figuring out “what’s for dinner?”  is hard work somedays. The upside? Trying new things has been really fun, especially the fruit!  They have amazing fruit here!  Kevin is really brave and will often just ask a server what they recommend or like best and order that.  It’s often fun for people to share their favorites with us and laugh at us when it’s too spicy or tastes very wrong to our western tastebuds (Durian fruit—they know most westerners really don’t like it and they honestly love it). It’s good language practice to try to buy fruit and the vendors are so helpful!  My fruit stand family, had fun showing us how to tell if the fruit was ripe and as we continue to return to the same vendors, we can build relationships.
2. Time— As I mentioned in a previous post, it takes time to get anywhere.  There really is no running to the store, though it is a little easier since we’ve moved out here and have a car.  So, we do our best to grab what we can while we are out and about rather than make mulitple trips.  We pack as much as we can into our trips out.  A lot of time is spent riding public transportation and our language skills are not advanced enough to really engage people in conversation.  The upside?  We are using the time to watch, observe, and to pray.  We are asking for God to give us eyes to see what He sees and we have the time (built-in) to pray for the people all around us.
3. Energy— Change, adjustment and learning take a lot of energy.  We often find ourselves exhausted at the end of a day and yet wondering what we accomplished or what we did that should leave us so tired.  This is beginning to wear off as we adjust to the schedule and get into a routine. The upside?  Rest and renewal are essential.  Taking care of ourselves physically and emotionally whether that be by getting to bed on time or choosing nutritious food is a must.  Skipping quiet time with God is not an option.  We rely on Him to supply the energy and motivation for what we need to do.  We need His Word to keep us focused and present.
4. Expectations, Growth, and Spiritual Warfare— I list these together because they can often be confused.  We have experienced some legitimate spiritual warfare in the form of unexplainable anxiety and negative thoughts, we try to watch for things like this, things that are unrelated to our personalities, our stresses and our reality.  These things have required prayer and Scripture to combat.   We have also encountered testiness, irritability, short tempers, frustration, and impatience often accompanied by sharp words, harsh tones of voice, rolled eyes, and big sighs.  It would be lovely to be able to blame these on spiritual warfare, to say that it was all an attack from the enemy, but… in truth it’s just our own rotten human natures coming out under pressure.  Attributes that really didn’t show themselves too much when life was predictable and manageable, when we knew what to do or what was expected of us, when life was under control are surfacing now that so many circumstances and timetables are beyond our control and daily life is unpredictable.  The upside?  Growth and refinement.  We are recongizing these uglies for what they are: part of our sin nature.  As such, we are confessing them, apologizing and allowing God to sand off our rough edges and cleanse us, make us more like Him.

Every new adjustment is a little uncomfortable, each unknown a little scary.  The upside?  Jesus is using each and every trial and victory, tear and joy to grow us into His likeness and maybe, if we are obedient, to shine through us and bring Him glory.  That is our prayer.